apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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