he wants to bone in the snuggie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i think im in europe. pls send help
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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