I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
