You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
