Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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