I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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