You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
