that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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