The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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