So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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