So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
