you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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