There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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