i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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