He told me they were just razor bumps!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
