I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
