4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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