But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
