Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(772): View more from Florida

Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

Fav 3 1068 1258
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

Fav 56 1304 14437
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

Fav 37 7003 917
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

Fav 11 4811 1493
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

Fav 25 5397 2637
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

Fav 11 948 1666
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

Fav 2 1095 1143
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.

Fav 1 247 276
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

Hey, thanks for helping me this morning

(1-904): View more from Florida

Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.

Fav 0 42 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT