I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice