I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
