just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
