dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
