How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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