I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize