yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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