OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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