found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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