Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize