Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
