He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize