Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
