You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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