He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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