Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
