Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
