plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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