Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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