Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
