We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
