You really coming over, don't trick.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
