i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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