my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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