Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
