I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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