Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize