Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love accidental penises.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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