We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
