4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
