scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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