Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
okay pat passed out under dana's car
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
