:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
