Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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