apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
