This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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