The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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