Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize
