You can't special order awesome
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
